top >> site 12: Dharma Essays & Poems >> Jerry Bolick - Essays & Poems
| Introduction | |
| 1 | To those unfamiliar with the Buddhist teaching of Nembutsu |
| 2 | Pilgrim in the Pure Land |
| 3 | Where is your Pure Land, Pilgrim? |
| 4 | Marin Hills Remembrance |
Jerry Bolick's self-introduction:
I have been a serious student of Shin for the last twenty-five years, establishing
close ties with the Institute of Buddhist Studies, located in California's
San Francisco Bay Area, where I have lived with my wife and family for
over thirty-five years. I have been writing poetry for most of that time.
I am very interested in the natural reflective dimensions of the writing
process, poetry in particular, and continue to explore the resonance
between language, the most common, most universal human characteristic,
and the Nembutsu way. After a long and varied corporate career, I have
recently become manager of the BCA's Buddhist Bookstore and regularly contribute
essays the BCA newspaper 'Wheel of Dharma'.
| 1 | To those unfamiliar with the Buddhist teaching of Nembutsu |
February 2005
Life comes to us as a great, eternal calling, reaching
out to us, unfolding around and inside of us, while at the same time holding us,
in our entirety, from the unnamable past to the unknowable future. Life's
eternal truth is our truth, just as surely as our temporal clinging and
attachment to the dance of self and ego is our truth. The Buddha's teaching
emanates from deep insight into the unending mix of pain and promise that is
human life. Buddha sees what we cannot see, sees that we cannot see, and out of
unfathomable concern for our well being, calls out to all humankind with the
equally unfathomable message of our liberation from self-imposed restrictions,
anxieties and turmoil. The Nembutsu tradition, more broadly known as Pure Land
Buddhism, understands the whole of the Buddhist teaching and its history as
Buddha's entreaty, Buddha's call to us to awaken to this eternal promise, a call
carried by the compassionate movement that is life itself.
Diamond-like,
unrelenting clarity of insight into the eternal truths of life, and the
corresponding spontaneous movement toward all beings: Absolute Wisdom and
Compassion. These two comprise the content of Buddhist Enlightenment and the
essence of the Bodhisattva spirit: that mind so singularly committed to the
liberation of all beings that personal liberation is set aside until last. It is
from this perspective, the perspective of the Enlightened Mind, that Pure Land
traditions explore the deeper dynamics of human liberation implied here,
primarily through the Buddha's story of the mythic Bodhisattva Dharmarkara and
his attainment of Buddhahood, as Amida Buddha.
Neither a person, nor a
name in the ordinary sense, Amida means Infinite Light and Life, referring to
unrestricted, absolute Wisdom and Compassion at work throughout the universe.
Amida signifies the incomprehensible ideal to which all Bodhisattvas aspire, and
at the same time name the dynamic principle all Buddhas embody. Amida's story is
the historical Buddha's teaching of the eternal truth of universal liberation, a
story of cosmic reality unfolding across time through our individual lives.
Buddha teaches Amida's story so that we ordinary, unenlightened beings might
hear the entire truth of our own life's story, as the Buddha sees it.
Limited as we are by our reliance on intellect, Buddha does not insist that we
understand that which is beyond the reach of the human mind; rather, Buddha
reaches out to us with what we can recognize, language, in the form of Amida's
story. Deeply and thoroughly aware of human suffering and human nature, Amida's
vows and aspirations focus on developing the most universal, most inclusive way
of liberation for all beings; should he fail to bring every being across, he
willingly forfeits his own Enlightenment. But the Buddha reveals to us Amida's
success and with that the certainty of our liberation. And all of this, Amida's
vows, aspirations and effort, the generation of merit, the power to inspire and
bring to fulfillment universal liberation, all of this is gathered, concisely
and easy to hold, into Amida's Name, which we are asked only to hear, trust and
recite.
Recitation is formulated in Japanese as Namuamidabutsu, or I take
refuge in Amida Buddha. All Pure Land schools are characterized by this dynamic
call and response relationship, but Shinran, founder of Japan's Shin Buddhism,
pushes this dynamic to its utmost limits. Radically challenging the notion that
our deluded, ego-ridden self is capable of liberating itself, or even capable of
trust, Shinran emphasizes that it is not our calling and Buddha's response, but
our hearing of Buddha's call that is critical. For it is Buddha's Compassion, as
carried by the Name, that pierces the ego's shell, illuminates its untrustworthy
nature and undermines its grip. The real work of liberation and Enlightenment
comes completely from the Buddha's side. And that work is already done.
To truly hear is to be awakened to the enduring presence of Wisdom and
Compassion, to be awakened to the bigger story that eternally embraces and gives
meaning to our lives. The authentic life of Nembutsu emerges only after I truly
hear that Buddha's compassionate entreaty is meant, not just for others, but for
me. First we hear, then we speak. The door to awareness is opened inward, to the
truth that all and everything is a gift. From here, the moment of true
entrusting, or shinjin, spontaneous bows and songs arise, expressions of
gratitude that come to define the foundation of our living, in Nembutsu.
Although replete with rich literary tradition and doctrinal complexity, one will
come to sense the beauty and meaning of Nembutsu only when enabled to catch both
the light and the illumined shadows, just so. All conceivable paths swept clean
by the voice of silence that speaks, we are carried by genuine engagement with
the teaching as handed down through the generations and by reflective attention
to the movement of our daily lives. Without the living touch of our fellow
travelers, the depth, richness and promise of our lives remain hidden. As
Professor Alfred Bloom writes, at the close of 2004, "It is our confidence that
the Nembutsu reaffirms our basic humanity, that the essence of life is
compassion and love, even though the evidence swirling around us denies our
trust."
| 2 | Pilgrim in the Pure Land |
My whole life
on a scrap of paper?
| 3 | Where is your Pure Land, Pilgrim? |
To the West,
as the sutras tell us?
To the East ,
where the sun
rises,
across the bay?
I have found mine, he says,
neither East,
nor West, he says;
though I do watch the light as it moves,
closely
and with great and deepening
interest,
with great and deepening interest.
Where is your Pure Land, Pilgrim ?
**
Our life is
Namuamidabutsu.
True Entrusting is the way we live.
I am, you are, we
do, take refuge.
With each breath,
the Name, through us, in us, resonates
throughout the ten quarters.
There is truly no more to be done.
Namuamidabutsu.
**
Look,
how the sun dances
in the
windows,
the light
in the dust.
**
Each time we choose
to
stay,
we miss the point.
**
I had always expected
the
silent point
to be light,
but find instead
deep darkness.
**
When tradition calls
and we answer,
self, despite itself, is crushed
and we receive the gift
born of the promise fulfilled.
**
Reverend Kubose,
on establishing the Chicago Temple:
"Very
interesting. How fortunate."
How blessed
this gentle, happy man,
who was just looking
for a place to sleep.
Naumuamidabutsu
**
Dinner with the enemy
on which side of the table
does he sit?
**
In this all embracing warmth,
even in the heaviest of times,
we
can sense an almost imperceptible shift
in light.
Learn to live here.
**
The meaning is in the utterance, pure, direct, meaningful in and
of itself, an act of living, an act of life itself, meaning determined not by
the thoughts behind it, but by the life behind it, in it.
A flower's
"meaning" is inherent in the flower's existence, not in the name or idea we
apply to it. The flower itself is dynamic life, the name and thoughts we have of
it,
after the fact.
As to our living then, it is enough to live.
Live directly, deliberately, attentively, or not.
And perhaps that is it: or
not, as the case may be. Do not expect the mind to calm--it will not, it does
not, for most.
Amida's light shines on all, regardless. The Name is
given, regardless.
Speak, utter the Name, which cannot be improved upon.
Recite, just recite; this alone is in accord with the Vow.
| 4 | Marin Hills Remembrance |
Riding thru
rain-clean streets
this morning, small puddles
flashed
silver light
friend Isaac.
Tight-throat
remembrance
of the mud
of your grave,
how we clung
to that hill
in drizzling
clouds and fog
friend Isaac...
just
the kind
of day
you loved.
I have heard
that even the smallest of puddles,
if approached with
great care,
will reveal the whole expanse of the sky
and all
that it
holds,
even,
at the very edge,
your own
wondering eyes.
I
have also heard,
friend Isaac,
that you always knew this
to be true.
**
It is in the utterance.
It is the utterance.
Nothing more to
add.
The Name,
Namuamidabutsu.
Say it.
That is all.
Just say it.
Hear the call
and just say
Namuamidabutsu.
The utterance itself,
the hearing
and the act of uttering
are the receiving
and responding
to the call.
Let your mind
be as it may,
do as it will.
The
utterance
cuts through,
pure,
direct,
straight forward
living
cutting through
layers and layers
of worries,
concerns
and fancies.
This is a life
of Nembutsu:
stepping out,
moment to moment,
direct living,
neither rejecting, nor accepting;
bearing witness
again
and again,
moving through,
living,
Namuamidabutsu.
Like Amida's
Light,
shinning throughout
the ten directions,
touching all beings,
leaving none aside,
touching us all,
as we are,
cutting through the
layers
of conceit, deceit,
layers of anxiety
and chaos,
and
caressing
each of us,
all of us,
just as we are.
Amida practiced
kalpas and kalpas,
accumulating merits
which are,
not which will,
which are
already
entrusted
to us.
Amida's merit,
Amida's
entrusting,
Amida's aspiration
fills the ten directions,
fills each
breath,
supports each step,
every living act.
True entrusting,
now, this moment,
is the truth
of our existence.
Our living is
the
living of true entrusting.
True entrusting is not something we learn to do
that we have not done before.
True entrusting is our life
and our death.
True entrusting is Namuamidabutsu,
is
the truth.
Namuamidabutsu.
**
Who is it
that speaks to me
from the early morning
blue
of the sky?
And,
who is it
that hears ?
Who, indeed ?
**
Pause
slightly,
lightly,
feel
the dancing movement
of random
thoughts.
What happened
to earlier
heaviness ?
**
What's the message,
he asked.
Bottom line, what's the message?
Enlightenment is ours;
freedom is the essence
of our living.
**
Lunch
in the park
with
my dear friend,
the Sage;
he listens,
draws me out,
in Winter's
sun.
**
Pleasant or unpleasant
is neither here, nor there;
in the end
the mind swirls and again
swirls.
Only Namuamidabutsu
is true and real.
Only Namuamidabutsu.
**
Who am I ?
Where am I going ?
I am in the embrace of Amida.
The Pure Land is my home.
I come; I go.
I worry and fret,
all for
naught.
Let go. Let go
and bask in the warmth
of the embrace.
Never to be forsaken;
this is our true condition.
Never be to be
forsaken.
Why is this so difficult?